Around 25% of adults suffer from a mental illness. I want to raise awareness about this issue, and help people understand the different aspects of living with a mental disorder a bit better. That’s why I’m launching a series of guest posts called Mental Health Mondays, where I give other people the opportunity to share their experiences with mental disorders. This week, Victoria from Bipolar And Me shares how bipolar disorder affects different aspects of her life.
Before I begin my post I wanted to take some time to introduce myself. My name is Victoria Jones and I have bipolar disorder. I am 25 years of age and I am currently living with my grandmother. Life can be difficult at times for me because bipolar disorder affects every aspect of my life.
I moved in with my grandmother December 1st of 2015. I have almost been here a year. Today I am not going to focus on my past (before I moved in with my grandmother.) I am going to be focusing on my time living with my grandmother and how my bipolar disorder affected areas of my life.
Moving in with my grandmother
This was not a happy time for me. My mother was going in to get a bone marrow transplant. She was not happy with my decision to move in with my grandmother. The doctors at the mental health inpatient care unit I was in decided that It would be best for me to move out of my mother and her boyfriend’s house because It wasn’t helping me. I was angry and depressed.
When I did move in with my grandmother I wasn’t happy, I was depressed and full of anger. I took my anger out on my grandmother, I was mentally and emotionally abusive toward her. It was the only thing I knew. I didn’t know how to be happy. I soon began to sleep most of the day. The only time I would leave my room was when I had to. My room became my “Safe Place.” and still is today.
Along with bipolar disorder and depression, I also deal with having anxiety on a daily basis. There are times where I just want to sit in my own little corner and be by myself. Big groups, loud noises, and some other little things bother me to the point I have anxiety attacks. During most of my anxiety attacks, I want everything to disappear. Going into my own little world or leaving the situation is the only thing that helps. After I usually feel sad and depressed.
How Has Bipolar Disorder Affected My Everyday Life?
Bipolar Disorder affects everyone differently. For me, I get more spurts of hypomania than I become depressed. During my spurts of hypomania, I feel overly confident, get a ton of ideas at once and want to do all of them, and can be really energetic and talkative. Sometimes during these times I feel absolutely horrible.
There are times when I am just angry at the world, there doesn’t have to be a reason but all I feel is anger. There are also times when the anger turns into sadness.
Bipolar Disorder affects my everyday life in different ways, it just depends on the day.
Today is the day before Thanksgiving and I feel totally fine and relaxed, and am spending time with my family. I also take medicines to help me feel this way. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t.
Bipolar disorder affects how I am around my friends.
Sometimes I’m quiet and sometimes I am not. There are times when I just want to be on the go, and there are times where I would rather hang out and watch a movie. I have learned that it can’t be all about me but we have to do some things that my friends want to do.
There are times when I am with friends that my moods change from minute to minute and I am thankful to have friends who understand what is going on and who are able to help me.
Bipolar Disorder doesn’t really affect my hobbies.
I mainly like to write music and poetry. Sometimes my writing gets influenced by the mood I am in.
Bipolar Disorder affects different people in different ways.
We all have our own personalities and our moods are different from one another. This post is just about how bipolar disorder and depression affect me. I hope you enjoyed reading this post and I hope you have learned something new!
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