Today’s post is a very personal one, I’m coming out. I’m bisexual. I’m into both men and women. The people closest to me have known for a while. But I never came out, not officially, not publicly. Not until now.
I knew that I wasn’t heterosexual from a very young age but only came to terms with my bisexuality within the past few years. When I was 9 or 10 years old and people around me started to get interested in the opposite sex, I noticed I was different. I wrote about it in my diary, back then.
“Everyone in school seems to be so obsessed with dating and with having sex and getting presents for Valentine’s day. But I’m not. At least not in the way they are. I don’t want to make out with boys like all the girls in my class do. I don’t like boys. I want to get a girlfriend and make out with her. I like girls. I’m lesbian, I think.”
I thought it was fine for girls to be in love with girls.
But the older I got, the more I realized that people hated lesbians and gays. It was considered a bad thing, back then. People thought it was disgusting. So I started to hide my sexuality and the more ashamed I felt because of it. I became scared and I stopped writing about it in my diary, I stopped being proud of it and I stopped believing in it.
And I tried my best to hide it.I dated a few guys, but never fully succeeded in convincing myself I was heterosexual. I proved myself that I wasn’t a lesbian because I genuinely liked the guys I dated, but I was still attracted to girls as well and even had feelings for some of my female friends.
And then, slowly, I started to come to terms with my sexuality. I started to accept that I was bisexual. For the first time in years, I wasn’t ashamed of my sexuality anymore. I told myself that I was bisexual, over and over again, and it felt right. It felt liberating.
I’m into both men and women. I’m bisexual.
Those first few years I didn’t tell anyone, still scared of reactions, but at least I had come out to the person who matters the most, myself. It wasn’t until I moved to Norway, two years ago, that I became proud and open about it. And only this summer I started coming out as bisexual to the people around me, although my boyfriend has known ever since we met.
I finally feel confident to step forward and tell the world I’m bisexual. I remember how liberating it felt when I came out to myself, and I want to feel liberated again by coming out to the rest of the world.
I feel proud of who I am. I’m bisexual. I like men and women. And I don’t care what you think. This is my sexuality, this is a big part of who I am. And I will no longer hide it. I feel proud to stand up, and tell you all that I am bisexual. And I’m supporting everyone else who’s going through the same thing.
Coming out is a big thing, and it’s still scary. But be strong, and accept yourself for who you are. Be proud.