How I experience anxiety.

anxiety

Anxiety comes in many different shapes. Some people have social anxiety, they’re scared of social situations. Some have seemingly random panic attacks and others suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. Some break out in sweat, some yell and others turn silent.

To me, anxiety means thinking in worst-case scenarios. It means being worried about everything that can go wrong. It means overthinking all the possible outcomes of any situation. It means being scared of not living up to the expectations of others or the expectations myself. Anxiety means becoming tense in my shoulders, tense in my back and tense in my legs. It means becoming less aware of my surroundings and not being able to think straight anymore. It means failing to translate my feelings into words and it means blackouts. It means being afraid of winning and afraid of losing. And most of all, anxiety means total chaos.

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My story of living and dealing with asthma.

My story of living and dealing with asthma

I’ve been an asthmatic since as long as I can remember. I was born with it, I grew up with it and I’ll grow old with it. It’s part of my life. It’s part of who I am. I want to share part of my story, using three topics that have been central in my battle with asthma: inhalers, needles and technology. 

I. Inhalers

On a rainy day, almost twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with asthma. Back then I didn’t really know what that diagnosis meant, the only thing I understood was that I had to take inhalers twice a day. They looked scary and tasted awful, and I didn’t want to come near them. Sometimes people told me I would get rid of the disease, that I would magically become healthy again. They gave me hope.

But over the years my lungs only became weaker. They started to hurt when I was running, biking or swimming. I had to stop taking part in certain school activities, such as physical education. I had to be careful when riding my bike. I had to sleep with a rescue inhaler. And I started to appreciate the medication more. They helped me bike and win. They postponed the pain. They saved me during asthma attacks. But I didn’t manage to get rid of the disease, instead my condition became progressively worse.

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My negative experience with being positive.

Positivity challenge: my negative experience with being positive

Not that long ago someone told me about the positivity challenge. The point of it is to only have positive thoughts for an entire week. As soon as you start having any negative feelings or thoughts, you will either have to twist them into something positive or try to think of something else instead.

It sounded great and very promising: no more stress or anxiety, no more sadness, no more anger, only positivity. So I decided to give it a try. In fact, I tried it multiple times and it never worked for me. Trying to turn negative emotions around brought even more negativity in my life.

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My mother and my boyfriends

My mother and my boyfriends

“What does he see in you? No, I’m serious. I don’t understand. What does he like about? I don’t understand why someone would want to be with you.” I’ve heard these exact words three times in my life, coming out of the mouth of the same person: my mother.

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7 Annoying questions I still get asked since my immigration to Norway.

Annoying questions about my immigration to Norway

About two and a half years ago I made the big move from Belgium to Norway. I love every part of living here, but some of the (recurring) questions I get from Belgians and Norwegians are pretty annoying. So I decided to share them with you.

1. “Are you used to living abroad already?”

I didn’t mind that question the first few times people asked me, it’s a normal question after all. However, I’ve been living here for MORE THAN TWO YEARS now. You can drop it. Stop asking me. If I wasn’t used to it by now I would have moved back already. The cultural differences aren’t that big either. Stop asking me. Please.

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