It seems to be everyone’s goal to be achieve a perfectly happy life, one where there’s only room for positivity, rainbows and unicorns. The body positivity movement, one that should be there to empower us, has made me feel ashamed and disgusted by myself for the times I felt insecure about the way I look. And those promoting overall positivity and self-love have left me wondering what the fuck is wrong with me, for letting a bad day at work get to me when someone else has it worse. When has this weird sense of perfection become the norm? When did we become so obsessed with happiness?
Anxiety is a common illness, one that’s finally being talked about, but still often misunderstood. It’s invisible, and because our fear can seem irrational, it’s easy to tell people to ‘just stop being scared’. But it’s never that easy, because if all it took was ‘just having positive thoughts’ or ‘just stop being afraid’, no one would be suffering from anxiety. That’s why I like using analogies when trying to explain what anxiety feels like because sometimes it’s easier for people to understand fear coming from a horror movie or an abusive partner than fear coming from someone’s own mind.
A couple of days ago I got inspired to write down how I felt about having a fluid sexuality and being a woman. The post ended up being pretty long, so I split it up in two parts. I already published the essay on my sexuality, and now it’s time for the part about my gender.
There have been some issues regarding my sexuality and gender I’ve been wanting to blog about for a while now, but I only just found the courage and words to do so. It’s a hard subject to talk about, because it’s something very personal, and because not everyone will or can understand it, try to understand it or accept it. But my sexuality and gender are part of who I am, and something I cannot change, so it’s important to me to change that piece of me with the rest of the world.
One of the reasons I love weekends so much – besides the fact I can sleep until noon, stay in pajamas all day and work on personal projects – is because I get to take a break from most responsibilities and just focus on taking care of myself and my mental health.